Your Number Please

Operator:  "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.  May I have your..."

Customer:  "Hi, I'd like to order…"

Operator:  "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer:  "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh,
it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator:  "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan.  I see you live at 1742
Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366.  Your office
number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's
266-2566.  Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer:  "Huh?  I'm at home.  Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator:  "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer:  (Sighs)  "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-
Meat Special pizzas..."

Operator:  "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer:  "Whaddya mean?"

Operator:  "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very
high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol.  Your National
Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice." 

Customer:  "Oh.  What do you recommend, then?"

Operator:  "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza.  I'm sure
you'll like it"

Customer:  "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator:  "Well, you checked out `Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
local library last week, sir.  That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer:  "All right, all right.  Give me two family-sized ones,
then.  What's the damage?"

Operator:  "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four
kids, sir.  The `damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

Customer:  "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator:  "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in
cash.  Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer:  "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your
driver gets here."

Operator:  "That won't work either, sir.  Your checking account's

Customer:  "Never mind.  Just send the pizzas.  I'll have the cash
ready.  How long will it take?"

Operator:  "We're running a little behind, sir.  It'll be about 45
minutes, sir.  If you're in a hurry you might want to pick `em up
while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a
motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer:  "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator:  "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so
your car got repo'ed.  But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed
that you'd be using it."

Customer:  "@#%/[email protected]&?#!"

Operator:  "I'd advise watching your language, sir.  You've already
got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop…"

Customer:  (Speechless)

Operator:  "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer:  "No, nothing… oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters
of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator:  "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents
us from offering free soda to diabetics."


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Disclaimer: The purpose of this site is not to attack or degrade our public servants
but to educate the public about rights that are being taken away from them!
We STRONGLY advise our readers to confirm all information in their local law
libraries when and if you choose to use it! Remember we're not suppose to know this
 and they will do anything to prevent it. Please read a judges comments on our legal system

Sources: The above information has been collected from various websites.

Please Note: We are not anti-government or any extremist group.